Short entry, I am not planning to exhort myself into writing
a long one simply because i'm not feeling well. I'm having this oh-so-annoying migraine for almost 2 days now accompanied by cough and colds. Huhu
    It's been sort of another dramatic collective moment for me at this point. Fortunately, all this crazyass drama has made me realize how fortunate I am to have the most amazing set of friends. Real ones.Yesterday, i had short chit-chat with Majz and today, Melai paid me a short call. I had a sigh of relief, you guys just made me feel lighter. Sure thing, hearing from you guys is a breath of fresh air. TJ, CESS, MELAI ,CARMEL AND MAJZ, i miss you all! I can't wait to see you all. Too many things going on. 
   Anyway, I feel sick once again, and I better go. Computer time is bad for me. But i still give wifi its credit for allowing me to blog while I remain tucked in bed. *woot woot*. 
   Cuidate everyone.  Uso ang sakit.

   I am now enjoying the software-junkie that I am. I stalk the CNET Download site every now and then. I also make sure that I have time to upgrade all my software for the latest version. And since I've always wanted to blog about my favorite software applications, I'm going to do just that. Enjoy.

1. Ad-Aware SE Personal Edition 1.06 - We all need a good spyware detector. This one is so much more than that. Ever since I installed this amazing application, I've never had to worry about spyware again. It's fast and cleans my system well.

2. Style XP 3.18 - With this app, I can change the entire look of my XP gui. Style XP can modify backgrounds, themes, and logons. It is a must download for those who are still stuck with the original Windows XP Luna, Olive and Silver theme.

3.Trillian Pro 3.1 - This app is amazing. It's a fully featured, stand-alone, skinnable chat client that supports AIM, ICQ, MSN, Yahoo Messenger, and IRC. Since I have accounts and contacts in almost all of those those, Trillian allows me to only use one application to view all my contacts for each.

4.DivX Play Bundle with DivX Player 6.2 - It's still my video player of choice.

5.Notepad++ 3.5 - It's a lightweight replacement of Notepad that supports various languages including HTML, PHP and CSS (those are the ones that I use for coding). It supports syntax highlighting, so it makes it so much easier for me.

6. Easy Thumbnails 2.8 -  If you own a digital camera and would want to resize a batch of images and still retain superb quality, I suggest downloading this little app. It resizes a ton of pictures very fast and the results are still of good quality.

7. Opera - as much as i love the firefox and iexplorer, I'm also fascinated by this browser. I'm in love with its fast  web browsing.

   Of course, these are only a few of the wide selection of downloadables in the Web. I didn't include Adobe Photoshop, Firefox and Limewire because you guys should have those already. If you know any good ones that aren't on the list, why not comment and share them to me. I'd love to hear them.

   I can't even start typing this post without tears falling down my face. I am not over exaggerating, I am simply stating the truth. I am in severe pain now because of this oh-so-annoying dysmenorrhea. It is really a pain in the ass. Surprisingly i still can manage to blog. I guess i just really need to vent out, thus the post.Naiinis lang talaga ko. Just a few hours ago, my dad keeps asking me the whereabouts of stuffs and told me to find it, which i did, despite of this aching puson and back. The worst part of it, it took me almost an hour in finding those stuffs. Hate. 
   On a lighter note, i was pretty amused this morning when i got tons of text messages from friends telling me how they missed my presence in the texting world. This is because for almost 2 months, my thumbs got lazy to keep in touch with friends,which i used to do. Pardon for the long absence because my phone had been so unfriendly with me.Hehehe 

      CONGRATULATIONS TO THE NEWLY REGISTERED NURSES:
To my GTP friends: Rey Vincent Balolot and Grace Galang,
to my classmates Sabrina Velasco and Oscar Castaneda,
to my friend/neighbor Ian Mark Gari Baliwag,
to dear Julia Martin (let's just keep the first name as it is, hehe),
to my dear friend Denver Ante,Jonard Dy, Chauncey Sherwin Tan,
and to all my fellow TAMS who made it to the passer's and topnotcher's list. Good luck on your careers! God Bless you all! 

   Anyway, believe me, a kadoozle number of rants and rambles are going through my head right now but I will just save them for next post. Pardon the loss of connection in every paragraph, there's just so many things to say. :-) But my blog has definitely been a friend. It has been my outlet of everything, emotional imbalance, mental stress, physical drainage, cryptic messages and a whole lot more. My blog has served me well.
   I think I've made this entry longer than I expected. I don't even think you would reach this part but thank you if you actually did. Okay, getting weirder by the moment. I feel like this is such a useless post. =D Really.I should go now. Hihi
   Have a sweet sleep everyone! :)

11:17 pm

   I still believe that in every dark cloud there's a silver lining. I have always thought that I control my destiny and I still do believe that, but I also know that destiny awaits me. It's so ironic but everyday I get to understand what it truly means. It's not about controlling my own destiny, it's about shaping it; doing the things that I love to become someone I want to be. But I do not hold the power to choose the ending, because I might never know that as I am shaping myself, a new door opens. At the same time, I shouldn't stop myself from doing what a door's purpose is - to be opened to go through a new place. I know a gazillion doors wait for me. I know I've opened some doors that will lead me to where I'm suppose to be. Someday.
   Avoiding the melodramatic tune that my post is getting, let me greet my college bestfriend TJ for passing IELTS. CONGRATULATIONS! I know you'll make it! *hugs* Also, today is MARIOL'S birthday, let me greet her once again a happy happy birthday. Much love marcy and i miss you. :)
   Anyway, i shall go now. I'm starving. HIhi 
   Cuidate everyone! :)

    Cheers! Two straight blogs. That's an accomplishment. Yet, I feel like so many things are still left unsaid.
    On a totally different note, I'm happy to say that I'm definitely less stressed. I worry still about my career, but the stress feels all too temporary. I realized there's no point of over analyzing things because sulking and being depressed is a choice I don't plan on considering. It's nice being happy and holding on to what I love. I'm staying this way. At least for now.
    I really have no idea what I shall be writing about. Especially now that i got interrupted by a call from a distant friend. But i was amused and somehow made me smile. Angkulit mo talaga.haha
    Back to my rants.
    This momentary rut is just really getting to me now. I'm NOT allowing this uneasy feeling to linger. It's just that I'm caught up in a web of emotions that I can't seem to pinpoint what exactly I'm feeling. And if I don't know that, I fail to realize what I really want. Oh shush. I can't deal with this crap again. Gotta find something else to do. 
   Sorry for a not-so-worthy entry. Darn. Hopefully, I can edit this post later in a much happier mood. As of now, as posted on my tumblr I'm:

Crazy. Happy. Bothered. Anxious. Excited. Thrilled. Giddy. Sad. Thankful. Smiley. Sad. Crazy. Happy. Nervous. Conflicted. Giddy. Bothered. Bothered. Bothered. Sad. Annoyed. Annoyed. Smiley. Bothered. Bothered. Exhausted. Reminiscent. Happy.

- But all is well. Im happy today. :)
   
   Cuidate everyone. :)

   This meme has been spreading around all over blogdrive and multiply. And because I feel like I need to have some form of venting out once again, I present you with my own version of this meme.

I modified in such a way that instead of having 20 thoughts or sentiments for 20 friends, I wrote 20 'anonymous' thoughts that can be directed to less that 20 people. Two, three or four statements there can be directed to a single person, while some are sole statements for one person. It's up to you guys if you think it's for you or not.

1. I miss our high school days. I miss having our own worlds devoid of bitterness, heartbreak, and sadness. Let's try to relive those someday.I miss you all!
   
2. I'm sorry for being such a spoiler,but the fact you said you love me, you made me love you even more! That's what friends are for.*mwahs*
   
3. You have always been an inspiring pillar of strength all my life. Thank you.
4. Let go of your insecurities. You're only making yourself uglier. Please.
5. I hope you'll finally be able to realize that you're the hopeless romantic that you are. Stop worrying so much! Get that hottie! Good things happen to good people like you.
   
6. You're being selfish.Maybe it's about darn time I become one too.
7. I miss you soo much.
   
8. You have been an unbelievable friend. I don't know how I survived everything lately if it weren't for you. Thanks happy pill.
9. A part of me still can't believe it, while a part of me believes that it had to happen.
10. We used to be really, really close! And as much as I'm really happy that you're happy with him, I miss being your best friend.
11. I'm sorry for acting horribly. I just didn't expect you could do that to me. I won't lie and say that I don't miss the old days, because I do. But it'll never be the same. Ever.
12. You will always be soo dear to me.Remember that.
    
13. I love that we are so alike. I love how you understand me so well. Thank you for listening to me and making me feel better.
    
14. Ang gulo mo. Promise.
15. I hope you'll have it in you to explain to us finally. We'll still love you unconditionally, you know.
16. Where are you? Paramdam ka naman! Ano baaa..
17. I'm really happy how much you've grown and changed. Good luck on your career.Good health for you always.
    
18. We will forever hold you dear to our hearts. We will miss you so much...
19. Some things never change. But for my sanity, I hope it will.
20. "It amazes me how time just passes by so swiftly. But you know what? No matter what's between now and before, i'm just glad we're still here. A little different,but still here."
    

Don't you just love being cryptic?haha

9:30 pm.

I feel melancholic.
I feel excited.
I feel pissed.
I feel happy.
I feel sad.
I feel enthusiastic.
I feel incomplete.
I feel childish.
I feel grateful.
I feel cheerful.
I feel nostalgic.
I feel bad.
I feel lacking. 
I feel SICK. 

9:43 pm.

How come they say the heart can only but feel one emotion at a time.
Am I different?

But hey, at least I CAN FEEL.

*sigh*

   It's funny how I would have the urge to blog when I have this huge surge of feelings overflowing from within me. My fingers have tendencies to start typing whenever I'm just about to explode. In theory, besides food, blogging keeps me sane. :)

   So sorry for the momentary hiatus. Life's been tough. Plus, I'm blogging in two places now. Please frequently check out my xanga and tumblr account every now and then because I might have an entry or so. But I'm not abandoning this blog for sure, I still have a lot of random rants to talk about in here that I can't really publicly announce to all my friends in friendster blog. (Assuming that they haven't clicked the link in my profile leading here to my blog. :p) 

   My friend told me how he pissed his best friend (a girl) because of something that he said. But he does admit that it's his fault and I second to that because he was indeed, wrong. That's just it, isn't it? Some men just basically do not think before they speak, that's why they end up hurting people. Do you want to know the worse part? They don't even know that they already are. So, to my friend, it's about time that you keep in mind that women easily get hurt, the smallest things can hurt them more than the big ones. Just apologize, you'll be fine. But make sure you know what you're apologizing for, okay?
   That's it for today. Im at a lost for words now. Bye!

   Cuidate everyone!

   Oh by the way, I just want to scream one big THANK YOU to a dear friend for a dear heart that listens.*wink*